Safe

This month, we find an older, wiser She Wolf confronting a tragedy that will propel her into unexpected new adventures: where she will find new allies, new enemies, and an evil every bit as deadly as her old nemesis, Moon Shadow. Safe comes from Dignity of Souls, the fifth instalment in the Souls Series.

She was riding through the darkness, at one with the horse beneath her. They were making good time, Crispin galloping at breakneck pace. He would do anything she asked of him, he would gallop all night, only stopping when his heart burst. But she couldn’t do that to him. She would never repay his loyalty, his love, by asking him to give more than his heart could stand, though she knew he would... for her.

She dropped into a steady canter, “Good boy, Crisp.” He snorted in reply.

They were well ahead of the British cavalry now; she should get to the village in time to warn her people. They would be ready. At least they would be able to defend themselves. Perhaps she shouldn’t have involved the tribe in the White man’s war. They could have stayed out of it, lived in peace. But she knew the rebels were fighting against tyranny, fighting for freedom, fighting to build a fair and just world. How could she turn her back on that? Was it not the same as when she had fought Moon Shadow?

As the hours passed, the rocky terrain slowed them to a trot, then a walk. Crispin would have cantered on, galloped even, but there was too much risk of him turning a foot on the rough ground, even breaking a leg. She would never forgive herself if that happened. They reached the summit of a hill and she gazed ahead. The village lay just beyond the next ridge. She jumped off and gave him an affectionate pat on the neck, “Let’s take a break, Crisp.”

Sitting with her back against a rock, she faced east, so she could watch for any sign of pursuit. Crispin started munching on some plants growing nearby… wherever they were, he always seemed to find something to eat.

She cast her mind back to the day she left the village, almost a year ago now. She had gathered the tribe and told them she was going to fight with the rebels. She would not order anyone to come with her, but asked only for volunteers. She smiled as she remembered how every warrior had stepped forward, even the old men, the boys; some of the women too. She was proud of them, proud to lead them, but she had to insist some of them stay behind. She’d walked along the line of proud tribespeople, all of them ready to follow her into battle, talking to each in turn.

“Thank you, Eagle Feather; may you find honour in battle, and fortune shield you from harm.

“Thank you, Shooting Star; may you find honour in battle, and fortune shield you from harm.

“Thank you, Bear Cub; how many summers do you have now?”

“I have nine summers, my chief.”

She Wolf smiled, “In years to come, you will find honour in battle; may fortune shield you from harm when that day comes. But, today, I would ask you to do me a favour.”

“Anything, my chief, what would you like me to do?”

“Your mother is precious to me; she is one of my closest friends. It would be a great comfort to me if you could stay here to protect her when the other warriors are gone. Would you do that for me?”

“Of course, my chief”

She Wolf looked around and saw a woman running towards them, “Look, here is your mother coming now.”

The woman reached them, panting for breath. “What do you think you’re doing, you had me sick with worry,” she scolded the boy.

“Feathered Dove, your little cub is a brave warrior; I wish I could have him by my side in the coming battle, like his brother, Smoke-of-Peace, but instead I have entrusted him with an important assignment that means he must stay here,” She Wolf looked at Bear Cub and winked, a gesture sometimes used by the palefaces that her companion had taught her.

Feathered Dove, who had once been called Frances, but had now been part of the tribe for almost twenty years, smiled at She Wolf, “Thank you.”

Returning the smile, She Wolf asked, “Where is Sleeping Bear, I need to see him before we leave.”

“He is in our tent, er... I do not think you have a word for it. In English, I would say he is sulking.”

“Sulking? What does that mean?”

“It means he is disappointed you will not let him ride into battle with you.”

“Does he not understand I need someone to take charge here while I am gone; that there is none I would trust more than he?”

“I have tried to tell him that, but he still feels you doubt his honour.”

She Wolf put her hand on Feathered Dove’s arm and looked into her eyes, “I will talk to your man before I go.”

Feathered Dove nodded. Then she grabbed Bear Cub by the scruff of the neck and started dragging him away, “Right you, you can have a bath in the river.”

“No, Momma, please, it’s too cold”

She Wolf watched them go, laughing softly to herself. She turned to the next person in the line, “Thank you, Leaping Salmon; you have brought much honour to the tribe already, but you have more than seventy summers, you have earned your rest. Perhaps, it would be more fitting if...”

*

She Wolf sighed deeply to herself. Thinking of Bear Cub reminded her of the yearning she had never been able to satisfy. She did not mind so much that she had never known a man, she had Golden Hair, after all, and she was a more loving companion than any man in the tribe: except perhaps Sleeping Bear. She smiled, remembering how the love shone in her friend’s eyes whenever he looked at Feathered Dove.

But Golden Hair couldn’t give her what her heart desired most. And now she had thirty-seven summers, it was unlikely she would ever fulfil that desire. How different it might have been if Bobby had lived. Once again, like so many times before, she felt the deep regret as she wished she’d been more confident that day. Expecting to die, certain she would die, she had ended Bobby’s life first, ending his unbearable suffering. But, if she had challenged Moon Shadow first, they might both have lived, become man and woman, and...

She hung her head and did something she could never dare let anyone else see. She started to cry.

A soft muzzle pressed against her neck, a warm tongue licking her cheek. She reached up and softly rubbed his nose, “I know, Crispy, I know. I do have a child of my own. I have you.”

Sniffing back her tears, she wiped her face and stood up. There was a faint light in the east. “Time to get going, Crisp, we need to get there before dawn.” He stood, waiting for her to jump on his back. “No, the path is steep here; I will walk for a while.” She set off down the hillside and the faithful steed followed. Although she was anxious about the British attack, she was looking forward to seeing the village again, seeing the people she loved. As she made her way carefully through the rocks and bushes covering the broken ground, she turned her thoughts back to the day she’d left once more.

After thanking her warriors, she’d gone to speak with Sleeping Bear, “Feathered Dove tells me you are doing something called ‘sulking’. It does not sound like the way my best warrior should behave.”

“Huh, if I am your best warrior, why are you not taking me into battle, why am I not standing at your side?”

“I am taking half the tribe into battle, most of the warriors.”

“Yet you leave me with the women and children.”

“Yes, because they need a chief too; someone who can lead them when I am gone, someone with the heart of a lion, the vision of an eagle, and the cunning of a wolf. While there is no She Wolf, they will need a He Wolf, a warrior with more honour than any other I know. That is why you must lead them, my friend.”

He nodded, “I will be their He Wolf; but only until their She Wolf returns. See that she does, my friend.”

They embraced as kindred warriors and she took her leave of him. She had one last farewell to say before she departed; the most important of all.

Golden Hair was trying to smile as She Wolf held her hands, “How long will you be gone?”

“I do not know. War is filled with uncertainty.”

“But you will be back, won’t you?”

“I do not know that either. I know my wish is to return to you, and I will try,” She Wolf smiled, “but it is in the hands of your God.”

“He is your God too.”

“So you always tell me.”

“Yes, and I pray for you always.”

She Wolf reached up and ran her fingers through the soft, golden hair that gave her companion her tribal name, “I am not sure if I believe in Him, but I know I believe in you. And it will give me strength knowing you are safe here in the village while I am away.”

“Do we have time to lie together before you leave?”

“A little time, if you wish”

Golden Hair smiled, then she looked down, “Will you do something for me afterwards?” 

“Yes, of course, what do you want me to do?”

“Do not say goodbye, please. When you must go; do not say anything, just go.”

She Wolf nodded, “I will do as you ask.”

So she had left her companion lying in their cot and slipped away quietly. Then she had gathered her warriors and led them to war, sitting proudly on Crispin’s back, believing she was leaving the rest of her people, the women and children, the old ones, her best friends, and most of all, her companion, in the safety of their riverside home nestled amid the hills, far from the battleground.

But now the war was coming to their village. As far as the British were concerned, the whole tribe were traitors, not just the warriors. Apparently, they were supposedly ‘His Majesty’s Subjects’, although she could not remember any of them agreeing to it, and they’d committed treason, a crime imagined in the minds of her enemy, for which her people were condemned to death.

They reached flatter, sturdier ground, and she jumped on Crispin’s back, “Come on, boy, let’s go home.”

The distant clouds far ahead were beginning to glow a deep scarlet as they reached the crest of the final ridge. She stared at the scene that lay beneath them. Smoke rose from the burning remains of the village, not a single tent was standing. Even from this distance, she could see the bodies: women, children, old men.

She didn’t need to ask. The moment the thought entered her mind, Crispin sprang into a gallop. As the distance between them and the village closed, she could see more of the carnage. They hadn’t just been killed, they’d been gutted, scalped, dismembered. Rage, despair, and fear battled within her, fighting for supremacy.

Jumping from Crispin’s back as they reached the village, she searched desperately, looking at the faces of the dead, looking for faces she hoped she wouldn’t see. She spotted Leaping Salmon near a burning tent, the charred remains of three women lying inside. His lifeless eyes stared at her across a patch of bright red grass, his entrails spread out before him, his legs ending at bloody stumps where his feet should have been. She could almost see it in her mind: the old warrior making a last stand, trying to protect the women. She walked up to his side and gently closed his eyes, “You have brought great honour upon us, right to your last breath, now go to your rest, noble warrior.”

She turned around and saw something that made her howl in anguish and pain, howl like the she wolf she was in her heart, as well as her name. She walked slowly towards it, hoping it wasn’t what she knew it was, hoping her eyes deceived her. She reached the object and bent down to pick it up. The golden hair was as soft and beautiful as it had always been, even with the bloody scalp attached. She fell to her knees and howled again.

Staring up at the sky, she wailed, “Why did you allow this? Was it because she decided to live with the tribe; because she lay with a woman… with me? She said you were just and kind, that you looked after your flock, that you were merciful. Where was your mercy when the British came; when they did this to one of their own? She wasn’t a warrior, she had no weapons; all she had was kindness and love. That was all she ever had. She believed in you, she never stopped praying to you. But you deserted her.”

She Wolf got to her feet, still shouting at the sky, “What use are you if you cannot save those who believe in you? I will not trust you to avenge her, useless God; that shall be my task. And hear me now, hear my vow: whoever did this is going to wish they had never been born.”